Business

Finally! Ford Sells First F-150 in Vermont

Anonymous buyer

DEARBORN, MI – On the steps of Ford’s corporate headquarters, company spokesperson Chris Hines announced the historic first sale of an F-150 in the state of Vermont, “In the 113 year history of this company, never have we sold a truck within Vermont’s borders. But that changed yesterday. Ford Motor Company is pleased to announce it’s first sale of an F-150 model in Vermont.”

Ford has long tried to break into the Green Mountain State’s automobile market with little success. Home to Bernie Sanders and Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream, the notoriously liberal enclave boasts more Subaru Outbacks and Toyota Prii per capita than any other state. “It’s proven more difficult than we originally thought,” Hines added. “When people don’t mind taking several trips from the store to move what would be half a payload for a truck, it’s been a challenge to change that mindset.”

The buyer, who wished to remain anonymous fearing a backlash from friends and neighbors, only identified himself as a contractor. “For my job, it just makes sense to own a truck,” he said. “Although I did immediately convert the engine to run on used vegetable oil and applied a COEXIST bumper sticker.”

The buyer indicated that he would only be driving the truck at night. “There’s too much risk,” he said. “The last thing I want is a windshield full of maple syrup.” While Hines hoped the purchase could serve as mobile advertising for the rest of the state, he didn’t lose focus of a historic day, “This is a good first step.”

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