Recently, the Royal Oak Gazette sat down with Kayla Sparks–creator of the VAPID workout plan. The full transcript of the interview can be seen below:
ROG: How would you describe the VAPID program?
KS: Well it is a multi-step, multi-platform workout. We think working out is best when it’s done with friends. Who doesn’t like getting motivation from people with a proper work-life balance? We can guarantee that VAPID is the most social workout you will find or your money back!
ROG: Who’s your core audience?
KS: Our program isn’t for everybody. It usually works best for those with a naturally skinny body type, low set point and fast metabolism. Basically, anyone under 30, the Swedes and women who are ‘2nd wife material.’
ROG: Take me through a typical workout. I understand it’s a 4 step program?
KS: That’s correct. The first step is to post to your social media platform of choice how you never have enough time to workout. But today, you are taking some ‘me time’ to get back in the swing of things. If you sign up for our premium package, you get access to our custom built social media dashboard where you can update all your platforms simultaneously. We don’t want anyone not knowing you’re working out!
ROG: And then…
KS: Step two is to post a picture of the cute workout clothes you picked up over the weekend. Be sure to include a caption asking your friends and followers to comment on which top to wear. Remember to use the hashtag: #LiveLifeVapidly
KS: Step three is to utilize a workout app on your smartphone. Preferably one like the Nike+ app that posts on your behalf and asks your friends to send you well wishes on your half mile walk/run. Remember, don’t go over a mile! We don’t want your arms so tired that you can’t perform the last step.
ROG: And that is…
KS: Post to social media that you checked workout off your list! Duh.
ROG: That doesn’t seem like a very vigorous workout.
KS: We never said it was. We like to think of it like this: we combine the constant blabbing about working out of CrossFit, with the physical exertion of getting a latte at Starbucks.
ROG: I’m sorry but it just seems like there are a lot of steps that don’t involve any physical exertion.
KS: New studies on brain activity have shown that increased pleasure center stimulation from receiving 10 or more likes on Instagram can burn an extra 100 calories.
ROG: What studies?
KS: They’re out there…