Master at Work! New Mom Shoehorns Mention of Baby Into Discussion About Syria

‘I can’t even walk yet and this lady expects me to fly.’

RESTON, VA – It seems new mothers simply can’t stop talking about their children. From staff meetings to happy hours, there appears to be no inappropriate time to talk about your kids.

Never has this been more apparent than at the 5th annual ‘Run for the Rosens’ Kentucky Derby viewing party hosted by Tim and Kathy Rosen at their suburban Washington, DC home on Saturday. As the pastel-clad guests were sipping mint juleps before 143rd running of the Triple Crown’s first leg, Jennifer Rogers was observed expertly turning a conversation with the party’s host about the Syrian Civil War into one about her 8-month old daughter Cecelia.

The transcript, obtained exclusively by the Royal Oak Gazette, can be seen below:

‘I said daisy, not sunflower. See? She hates it.’

Tim: Jen! That’s quite the hat!
Jennifer: Thank you! You know I had little help picking it out…
Tim: That’s great. How are you? Thank you so much for coming.
Jennifer: Of course. It’s a tradition at this point. We wouldn’t miss it.
Tim: Well, thank you. We love hosting.
Jennifer: So what were you and Ken talking about? I saw you two getting into it.
Tim: Oh, you know, just the state of the world. ISIS, North Korea, Russia. It doesn’t end!
Jennifer: Yeah, it’s hard to watch the news sometimes.
Tim: I know what you mean. If it’s not one thing it’s another. It seems like it’s gotten better but the situation in Syria still concerns me.
Jennifer: It’s a humanitarian crisis at this point. More needs to be done.
Tim: Exactly. I don’t think Putin’s involvement is helping anything either.
Jennifer: You know who’s been Putin’ away the ol’ breast milk? Cece. She’s the love of my life.
Tim: Oh, that’s great. The thing is… ISIS needs to be eliminated and Assad needs to be removed, not propped up. I don’t even know if Russia is on our side in this fight.
Jennifer: Speaking of our side… you know who rolled over onto hers last week? Cece. I might be biased but I think she’s perfect.
Tim: Oh, that’s wonderful. How old is she now?
Jennifer: 8 months, 1 week and 2 days.
Tim: I remember that age with our girls. It’s a special time.

Jennifer: I’m pretty sure Cece can already tell time. She wakes up on her own at 5:30 every morning. I don’t even have to do anything. I just walk in and see my angel’s smiling face greeting me as we start a new day.
Tim: Oh look… we’re out of bourbon.

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Rogers was then observed berating her husband for not having a more recent picture of their daughter than one taken midweek.

More on this story as details emerge.